Back in the day, my friend and I got high with two random dudes at her house.
You, know typical Tuesday.
Alone in her bedroom, I really, really wanted to kiss one them. But I didn’t.
I lied, said I had a boyfriend. But he replied the truth.
You don’t want to kiss me because you’re scared of black men.
Before I met my husband IRL, I stalked his Facebook page, pausing ever so slightly at his last name.
Will anyone in my family have a problem if I marry a Jewish man?
I’ve been attacked – robbed, assaulted, raped, and beaten, several times in my life.
By white men. By white women. By mySelf.
But I’m most tense and alert when I drive through the Latino neighborhood in my city.
This is all mine. I mean, it’s ours, but it’s mine.
Fear. Judgement. Conditioning. Repression. Grief. Rage. Racism. All mine.
But not Me.
The good news is, I’ve got tools to work with what’s mine. I’ve got time, space, money, support, and faith to cope. And I’d better do more than cope, because I’m on the planet for big change. Just like you are.
And so…some unsolicited advice for my white friends. Because, ICYMI, this is our responsibility.
Take care of what’s yours (which takes courage…go watch Matt Kahn’s latest video), embody your Divinity, and then get the fuck out there and help as you continuously clean up your own shit, which we all have.
Use the gifts you have, even if, ESPECIALLY IF you’ve never seen them applied to activism, and politics, (and just because you’ve never seen it, doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened). That’s the whole point. We’re making this up, we’re making this new, we’re making this beautifully, as we go along.
Use your surplus, skills, and experience to encourage those most heavy with hate to let the love in.
Reimagine the conversation, the action, the response, in ways that feel HOLY to you.
Also, try these…
Plan a training to dismantle racism in your neighborhood.
Read bell hooks.
Quit watching TV shows and movies about white people, by white, for white people.
Womancott the NFL until Colin Kaepernick gets a job.
Give your time to have open hearted, uncomfortable discussions about white supremacy, racism, and the nodules of hate within us all. Lovingly, clearly say something when you encounter racism.
Without blame, without rancor. Without judgement.
Yes, this is possible.
Keep looking within.
Give your time to breathe with YOUR OWN SHIT, which is helping, in part, to create the shit we’re all in.
Use BREATH ALCHEMY, the fastest way I know to unravel the fear and rage we all carry around, upgrade your frequency, allowing easeful embodiment of Unconditional Love.
Today, I am using my problematic (Google Virtuous Victimhood) white, cis-gendered body (east village self-portrait, circa 2008) to attract the attention of anyone who thinks this isn’t up to them or that they’re not up to this, to anyone who thinks that more outrage toward anyone is helpful, necessary, or inevitable, in order to say, this is why we’re here now, and, it’s never OUT there.
If you’re not INRAGED, you’re not paying attention.
If you’re not IN LOVE, try another way.