Love Up the Queen : Part 3 : The Queen Sets the Tone

The Queen Sets the Tone

We Queens (and Kings) are co-creators of our existence. Our thoughts, words, actions and attitudes inform the Universe and its beings how to communicate with us. When we let the Queen set the tone, we honor her wisdom. She is loved. She thrives. No room for misogyny here.

Do’s and Dont’s

  • Begin and end with thank you. All the time. No matter what. When we give thanks, especially for the tough times, we cultivate faith in our path. We naturally relax. Gratitude expressed opens the universal gates of abundance. Here lives the Goddess.
  • Don’t talk about your body.  Especially piece by piece.  Unless of course you’re praising her for all of her phenomenal abilities and her incomparable beauty. Body gossip turns the wheel of female objectification. Spare yourself…your Queen is listening. See Part 1 for more on this.
  • Don’t talk about her body.  Cut out ‘you look so thin!’ or ‘that top really shows off your arms,’ ‘you’re so lucky you have/don’t have boobs’ or ‘she’s so brave to show off her round figure like that.’ These BS niceties affirm programmed, commercialized standards of beauty, tightening the valves on the pressurized cage of outward gaze women endure every day, discounting our natural inner desire-driven flow. Likely, if you’re inspired to talk to a woman about her appearance, your brain is signaling that heart is drawn to hers. Strike up a conversation! Connect! Give genuine, holistic compliments. You are so beautiful! How are you? You’re glowing! I’m so happy to see you! What’s up?!
  • Ditch ‘I’m sorry.’  Beware the trendy habit of squirting this blanket diminishing phrase out, left and right,  not because of real wrong doing, but rather, for walking down the sidewalk at the same time as another human being, asking a question, misunderstanding, disagreeing, requesting – for a changed mind, an opinion stated, air breathed, the discomfort of another. Constant apologizing does not present as considerate, kind, demure and easy going, but masks/illuminates insecure fear, while laying a trip on the people around us.  ‘I’m sorry’ all the time deepens shame-filled, perma-wrong vibes. Never apologize for letting the Queen lead with deep presence and grace. Side note: sometimes ‘I’m sorry’ is a must. If you really mess up or hurt someone, apologize and quickly make it right as best as you can. Show more than you tell. Save it for the right time. ‘Excuse me’ and ‘Pardon’ work great in moments of infallible collision. 
  • Take impeccable care of yourself. First. Your self-care reflects in the universe. Though there’s no reason to wait for complete wholeness to help (complete wholeness is an illusion anyhow…we’re always transforming and we’re whole even when we’re broken), we cannot offer much to others unless we are well ourselves. What heals in you, heals in the world. 
  • Be clear. Be brief. Be yourself. There’s no need for the Queen to explain herself. Unless there’s a funny, life-affirming story involved. Brevity and clarity clear space for connection, action, joy. Yes, please. No, thank you. I’ll get back to you, thanks. I don’t like that. I love this. I love you. I want this. I can help you. I’m not available. Please stop. I’m finished. I’m leaving now. I’ll try this one. I’ll be there at 3:00. Can you help me please? 
  • Eyes up.  Attunes with the big picture, connects with people, expands awareness, relieves cell-phone/device addiction, increases potential. Eyes up reminds others of their light. Eyes up invites the Universe to delight you. It’s waiting to be noticed!
  • Boobs up. Opens the lungs and heart, improves posture and organ function, relaxes face and shoulders, protects natural spinal curvature, relays confidence and love, looks good.
  • Arms down. Relaxed arms (uncrossed, off the hips) opens and softens the heart, encourages trust in the Universe. Queen tone is wisely inviting. She’s got the goods to energetically protect herself without being standoffish or rude.

It’s been said in a thousand ways…the best place to change the world is inside of me. This has been a tough truth for me, one that I’m sure will keep reiterating itself as I g(r)o(w). And yet, it is so empowering. Cultivate the (loving, creative, fun, mysterious, educational, connecting, playful, safe, gorgeous, communal) world I long for in me, and I’ve got what I want. Queen Love. Inside of me. Wherever I go, whoever I’m with. Totally protected, totally contagious.

To be clear, the Queen’s tone is not Bitch Tone. It’s straightforward, thoughtful, clear, joyful and loving. It is guided by confidence in her deep, authentic desire.

You’re a real Queen for making it through a three part blog on ending misogyny! You’re a real Queen because you say you are. Amazing!

How has misogyny ended in you? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section. And of course, this Queen would be honored if you shared this with your Queen community.

And now, a little Truth from the one and only India Arie. 


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *