Category: Breathe

Fuck Spiritual Scaffolding. Let that shit BURN.

image1 (3)
Thank God for all the spiritual tools.

Prayer, meditation, mantras, affirmation, self-help, selfless, inner-child healing, Ascended Master helpers, drama therapy, laughing yoga, somatic recalibration, talk about it, let it go, put yourself first, get out of yourself, surrender, fight the good fight, fake it ‘til you make it, authentic living, everything is as it should be, no woman, no cry.

These rituals support us – give us peace and grace. They make life, in all its hell and glory, possible.

Thank you. Thank you.

And…

The day comes for all of us seekers when the acts we rely on for expansion and serenity, threaten to become scaffolding on a quivering, crumbling sense of self, festering with the denial of unfelt emotion.

Previously unwilling, unaware, or unable, the day always comes when we wake up to the inevitable flames of pain licking at our heart.

Today might be the day- the day to burn it all down – to set the spiritual façade ablaze and get right the fuck to the heart of it – to embody the rage, the grief, the pain, the sadness, the hopelessness, the dejectedness, the sorrow, the fear, the uncertainty, the mother fuck what the fuck why on earth cauldron of hot, boiling flammable emotion that will no longer be denied by affirmations or another round of soothing breath, exhaling it all away.

The day comes when that next round of breath is best used to fan the fucking flames, to manifest enough kinetic power to collapse the structure, to scream and sob and wail, to sing and shake and finally explode into a million fragments of winged white hot light that shoot into the pink and golden sky.

Today’s the day to let the scaffold around your anger, sadness, grief, rage, hopelessness and fear, burn the fuck down.

Let it burn to experience all the facets of your divine nature.

Let it burn to purify, refresh, to make an offering.

Let it burn and know your Destroyer Power. Let it burn and know your Infinite Creative capacity.

Let it burn because you need the energy.

Let it burn because repressed rage and grief lead to weird shit and misery.

Let it burn because no one and no thing creates your emotions. Emotions just are…vibratory states, pinged by circumstance, calling out to you to give them room to dance.

Let it burn – not because you want to be done with emotion (there is always more where that came from) – but because you want your money’s worth from this human journey that you so courageously and eagerly jumped into.

Let it burn because the fire won’t hurt you – denial and constriction will.

Let it burn for your Sacred Heart.

Let it burn for the collective human consciousness so frightened by the denied internal landscape of rage and sorrow we’re still manifesting an external learning experience wrought with hate, injustice, blame, violence and fear.

Let it burn because the fire works quick.

Let it burn because you are that safe. Let it burn to know how fucking big the God Goddess Spirit Source Light within you is – that She is so fierce, friendly and patient that she will ride with you the entire way. So expansive, She is every wave on the ocean of your fire. She is the peaceful joy waiting for you when the flames die down. She is You.

There comes a day, (HERE IT IS!) when it is no longer acceptable or healing to bypass uncomfortable emotions deemed wrong, inappropriate or scary, for reasons of spiritual poster-child-ness, keeping the peace, or looking professional.

Let it burn.

And when the smoke is gone and Brother Wind clears out all the ash, and you create everything you want by the fire of your heart, we’ll be there to pray and chant with you, to giggle, to breathe to give thanks with you, to bow to you, bow to Creation and all our Guides, embodying the SPIRT of LOVE that WE ARE.

Everything else is welcome to burn.

 

 

 

 

 

Who is Wylder?

/ Leave a comment

Wylder and Wylder, I walk the way Faith moves me, human undressing into Spirit.

Sometimes my heart sings songs I ache to hear. And sometimes, she sings songs calling me to stretch into the dark.

I give birth to my dreams before I understand what they are.

I follow the call of my name before I know where she’s headed, forging my Wylder way to the unspeakable sound of my heart, dropping veils of fear behind me like dandelion seeds.

I am Wylder.

Healing Begins with Tenderness

/ Leave a comment

We want to feel better. In fact, we want to feel amazing and free and enthused. Jazzed. Free. Whole. We want to drop the crap, to be safe and to feel sound. We want to heal. We want to heal for real. We want to heal for good.

Healing begins with tenderness.

I learned this recovering from my unplanned, deeply unwanted C-Section that left me with, what I deemed my ‘I was sawed in half by strange men because I’m a broken failure of a woman and I’m a selfish, moody bitch for feeling anything other than gratitude for the safe birth of my son’ scar. In my effort to heal, as quickly and perfectly as I possible, I found the beautiful self-care technique, Maya Abdominal Massage, that I faithfully performed every day I could (still do twice a week). I’d begin the passage called ‘digging for potatoes,’ and you bet I’d go rummaging around my guts for those potatoes, intensely kneading my belly, face clenched, determined to root up any lumps of scar tissue, and while I was at it, any buried trauma, denial, self-hatred, fear, etc., pummeling myself trying to erase a wound.

The day I caught myself ‘caring’ for my scar with vigorous self-bullying, I had to laugh at my misguided, ironic technique. We want to heal.  We want to repair the tear, wipe off, feel better, and move on with our life experience backpack fuller. But taking aim at our hurts (or at another person’s) with a closed fist doesn’t work. In fact, it makes things worse, reinforcing imbalance, magnifying faulty thinking, further inflaming swollen tissues, hardening the injury with more and more scar tissue.

Healing is transformation. It is change, movement, regeneration, and sometimes, resolution. This means that it won’t be like it was before. To begin to heal, the pain must be approached. And just as you would meet a new baby, the pain is best approached with presence, patience and gentleness.

The How To

(The order of these actions and attitudes is flexible. Trust you’ll know in each moment.)

Start Tender

Perhaps a soft touch or voice, a smile, listening very closely, waiting, expanding into something sharp or someplace dark. Deal with it (them, yourself, her, him) as though you’re holding an infant child, a new puppy or gorgeous budding flower in your hands. We’re all just finding our way in our bodies, in this world, in these hours.

Tenderness doesn’t negate the often called for discipline and/or Power, nor does it mean the path ahead will be cushy. It’s just the style best suited to the task.

Start with Love

Keep the word LOVE in mind and behind your eyes when you’re: helping, cleaning, paying, waiting, speaking, looking, listening, approaching difficult moments, running with the wind or feeling the walls closing in — when you feel overwhelmed, tired, mad, sad, afraid, enthralled, jealous, jilted, wronged, amped up, and oh so joyous. Everything will be different. You go first.

Breathe

Remember to remember your breath. Breath is paramount. Simple, in and out, sometimes delicate, sometimes rolling and heaving, always moving.

Make it deep, make it quiet, make it continuous, make it feel good. Breath connects us with all Life. Let it take you there. Breath nourishes cells, brings what’s needed, takes what’s not, the wind from an open window blowing through a musty room, the waves in the ocean, the warmth that melts rock to lava.

Approaching pain (and fear, disappointment, anger, frustration, rage, grief, fill in the blank) tenderly won’t make you a weakling doormat loser. It will take you deeper and light you up. Starting from love will remind you of what you’re made of. And remembering to breathe will change everything.

When I realized my approach to healing was off and adopted my new mantra of tenderness, I discovered a deep well of magnetic love and resource. I came face to face with my darkest parts, the place where the Goddess’ shadow is cast in the light that illuminates the Treasures of Life and Death.

As Pema Chodron says, “…if you touch that soft spot, you find the vast blue sky.”

I still give great effort to my abdominal massage, breathing through the hard spots in my gut. But I do it with sweetness and trust, without an agenda or timeline. My scar represents one of the most important events of my life. It has been a tremendous teacher. It may never fade and may always feel kind of itchy. Maybe all of emotional energy swirling around in my abdomen will never completely unwind. Maybe it will.

Tender is the place to start — to approach the doorway to expansion and freedom from the hallway of the crappy situation. This is how the shitty, inconvenient, painful, unfair, horrific, grievous curves we’re thrown, which, by the way, everyone will have in some way or other, transform (sometimes eventually, sometimes only kind of) into beautiful lessons connecting us to our Brothers, Sisters and Spirit. And then we see how all of it is unfolding toward the Good.