the round table

I never believed in evil until I did because she woke me up inside of me.

Which of these 7 billion bodies living inside their soul would you choose to leave behind?

(what is it like to like a mind?)

Which of these 33 trillion fractals of your Self would you reject?

Your shame? Your rage? Your truth for today? Your insightful inpatient insistent cries? Everything you still don’t know? Your creative curious dejected parts utterly alone still bleeding longing love for all the bees trees and caterpillars? That entire cathedral of masterful manipulation hellbent on being loved? The tender wisdom of all your ages? 

What kind of friend kicks the Lucifer when they’re down?

It’s all or nothing here.

We are at the Round Table seated in the perfect moon light.

The banquet set with the centerpiece of Sovereign Mastery and the of Rose Honey Water Communion hear the rivers of the ancestors flow beneath our feet.

But my back is turned to your back is turned to mine is turned to theirs is turned to ours.

It’s a lonely but sure way, having no One to turn to, not even our Holier Than Though.

There’s no way out when the only way is right.

Exaltation of polarity will prove that the banquet of Grace is prepared inside of me.

That God is only whole when I find the eyes of my kindred enemy.

This is Life.

No One gets out alive.

No One gets out right.

This is My Life.

No One gets left behind.

Do you believe in me? Because I believe in all of you.

here is my service, turning rage to words.

faye wylder, harvest 2020

Episode 7: Mother Lover – In Devotion to Earth

Michelle Baumbier is a researcher, Earth-based educator and devotee of the Great Mother. Her greatest calling is two-fold: to tend to the Earth as a form of devotion and to guide others to remember their innate connection to their natural surroundings. 

I met Michi on the interwebs, and as so many of my friendships, ours blossomed through a shared curiosity and devotion to Magdalene. Michi gives me hope, levity, and courage in dark times and I wish camaraderie like ours for all beings on the planet. 

She makes me laugh and listening to her teach and share and reading her writings brings back all faith in humanity. I invite you to tune in and receive her brilliant light. 

My biggest take away from today’s show was the power of offering my awareness to life. As a gift and a practice of devotion. Simple medicine for the bitter and sweet moments.


Forest Meditation with Michi! Join us at

Links, References & Quotes:

Find Michi and all of her offerings at The Earth Student

Follow her @magdalene.rising and

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Instagram @fayewylder

Find the plants at

Intro and outro music by my brother, Travis Kirby, you can find him at or find him on Spotify, SoundCloud, etc.

Thanks and love to my producer Elliott.

Check out this episode!

Episode 6: We’re All Part of the Same Motherf*cker

Sanyu Estelle is a Sarcastic Social Justice Warrior and Writer who is WINNING. Tune into her Instagram @sayuestelle and her Patreon and you’ll be winning too.

A claircognizant  Word Witch,  Sanyu weaves new worlds in ‘real’ time with the silks of language and presence. She’s a brilliant teacher preacher and a word nerd after my own heart.

I highly recommend her for your next tarot / oracle reading (patrons check out the coupon code she’s offered). Sanyu recently offered an ancestral investigation workbook especially for folks with European ancestors which I’ve just begun working with. Sanyu’s patreon supporters receive a monthly card reading at the $5/month In the Thick of It level and her June reading was lit. Check it out!

Enjoy the show!

feel what you feel when you feel it

children teach us how to feel in real time. frustrated, pained, lonely, hungry, angry, frightened, they express fully, for as long as they need, until they’re done. unless, one of us big folks teaches them to do something else (which we all do).

imagine if we could continue the child like genius of integrating life in ‘real’ time, which is – beyond time, and not even pick up the heavy suitcase of held emotion and difficult experience most of us carry for decades and lifetimes. imagine not passing along entrenched fear response to the descendants. can you see all the spaciousness humanity would have to explore? wow!

this is a complex topic, and I am no expert, but I have developed several simple techniques using Breath to attempt this. when I can, I focus on feeling what I feel as I feel it, beyond all blame, cultivating my true state of relaxed curiosity for life. rear ended, a nasty comment on the inter webs, yelling at these angels, my rage at the machine, surfacing memories of old harms, doing taxes, having a difficult conversation, etc – these are all perfect moments to invite and allow breath to work through me as me. those feeling and sensations are valuable teachers. they will not kill us, but they will eat us alive if untended.

43 minute breath alchemy to tend feelings in real time is HERE for you. pay what you can and include your email and ‘alchemize in real time’ in the note.

can we relate?

the word relate is sister to words rapport, relationship, relative, stemming from 14c latin to bear, to bring. relating is relaying, a transmission of information, a message carried (if not delivered) – our blood, our bones, our faces, our wisdom, our voices, our emotional presence, our laugh – all the messiahs of our ancestors and theirs and theirs, expressions of God in stardust.

relation is not agreement (rooted in LIKING, CONSENTING, BEING PLEASED WITH). perspective begins with sensation and as we honor our cells, sensation shifts with presence, breath, and passage through space (time). my displeasure and disconsent (disagreement) with your perspective do not negate our relation which, along with the truth of our kinship as children and parents of a shared Source, builds a new synapse in the web of all and will undoubtedly flux in the alchemy of existence. _i relate by expressing my Cells and opening my awareness to you as you do or do not do the same. willingness and capacity (dependent on so many factors) to be present to relayed information while staying in the elegance of my discernment (boundary/immunity) of how that information inspires or insights my own field (always infused with the mystery that goes beyond word) develops my relationships which develop my Cells (me taking a picture of you taking a picture of me).

there is no such thing as misinformation nor another soul unrelatable to our own. there can be information that makes us so fucking uncomfortable that we dismiss, judge, ignore. messages that touch a nerve left open by body wisdom to be noticed and attended to, if only by righteousness but hopefully by grace. i may not relish relating to you, but we are relations no matter. the future is non binary (gender fluidity being one expression of this elemental) and invites us to exist in that meeting place of our rapports, and to breathe in and into the mystery of shared space, relating the unbearable, where the i and the you become we – the holy trinity.

It’s All Relative.


it’s sweet how you feel deeply worried for their future and like you gotta protect them but then you realize they came from the future and all times and no times just like you and there’s a reason you’re all together with whomever you’re all together with and they’re more brilliant and powerful than you and all your lifetimes and then you relax and enjoy life and recall the best parenting advice ever – act as if you’re guiding and witnessing a dear friend on a psychedelic journey (which we all are if we take a moment) and you may stop yelling ‘get in the car brush your teeth finish your sandwich don’t take your penis out at the table’ slightly less times each day because you’re busy watching a giant blue heron who usually lives by the water, swoop into your grassy valley, strut around, stalk, catch, and swallow whole a mouse which you see pass through the entire two feet of its throat while wearing matching sun glasses all before 9am

Episode 5: The Medicine of Being Human with Sena Maria

Sending you all love in this time.

Most days, I’ve been feeling really well thanks to daily breath alchemy (I offer pay as you can community virtual sessions most Fridays- add your email at to get notified) and continuing to explore motherhood as holy service. Some other days, I’m ready to head home if you catch my drift (more on that in this special episode!)

I’m also receiving a lot of benefit cold showers, lymphatic self-massage, oils, as much time in open space as possible, and daily cacao and mushroom helpers, a combination which I’m well versed in thanks to my beautiful friend and today’s guest, Sena Maria. 

How are you tending yourself, yourcells, your community in these times? What songs does Earth sing you when you step outside? I’d love to know. 

On today’s episode, Sena talks about The Medicine of Being Human, the transformative and unifying power of plants, micro dosing, leaving it all behind, creating a world of sovereignty through daily action and earth connection, wanting to leave the planet, sharing our deepest pain as service, and my experience moving through many many months of depression working with plant medicine. 

BONUS: Sena and I are hosting a LIVE Webinar sharing the magic of micro dosing on May 1st. Register HERE

If you’ve been wanting to try Young Living essential oils, you can join our try before you buy class, Roll With Us for $10, which covers shipping and materials. I’ll mail you three mini rollers and we’ll learn about them and use them together in an online forum May 7-11. 

Complete this form before April 30th to join us.


For our patreon sponsors, Sena is gifting a 20 minute guided meditation with the Earth Grandmothers – it is like returning home AND her incredibly thorough and practically detailed Ascension Guide to Coffee Enemas.   Join us at 

Show notes

Thank you so much for listening and supporting us by:

  • Becoming a patron at for as little as $3.33 per month. Patrons receive tons of wonderful, relevant, exclusive content.
  • Subscribe at iTunes, Spotify, or YouTube
  • Give us a five star review *****
  • Share a comment of how this work is supporting your life

from the cave (for easter)

i like it how you kiss my ears

whispering the tomb is the womb is the tomb is the womb is the tomb is the womb

resurrection so sexy since the most never noticed We were even here before

quit eating that mystery and enjoy this dark empty folding

unfolding unfolding unfolding

you want to live but breath doesn’t belong to you

only through you

there is no cave an island

i can push all night long but the rock only moves when the light cums through

the lord is my witness

as you were as We are

watching me birth Her back into being again and again and again

realized in each peal of slippery laughter and wink of my eye

grief is great

grief has no space in most circles. she’s ignored, shuttered, clogged, feared.

more than strong sadness, grief is love from the great beyond to the great beyond and a remembered declaration of that which we value and hold dear. she is great and she will be heard, like it or not.

grief lives in the lungs and when we allow it move, our circulatory lymphatic immune systems open, the circuity of communion with life as vital breath is connected.

grief may be hiding. behind rage behind a polite smile beyond disorienting anxiety.

move some cellular furniture and let your grief out that she can be love and you can be endless energy to create and serve. your grief is great.

BREATH moves the furniture.

breath automatically works in a grounded liminal space to alchemize current states into revitalizing resource.

explore the greatness of (y)our grief with our pay what you can (suggested $13-$33 but anything goes) 33 minute breath alchemy sessions. choose yours HERE and listen anytime you need.