the round table

I never believed in evil until I did because she woke me up inside of me.

Which of these 7 billion bodies living inside their soul would you choose to leave behind?

(what is it like to like a mind?)

Which of these 33 trillion fractals of your Self would you reject?

Your shame? Your rage? Your truth for today? Your insightful inpatient insistent cries? Everything you still don’t know? Your creative curious dejected parts utterly alone still bleeding longing love for all the bees trees and caterpillars? That entire cathedral of masterful manipulation hellbent on being loved? The tender wisdom of all your ages? 

What kind of friend kicks the Lucifer when they’re down?

It’s all or nothing here.

We are at the Round Table seated in the perfect moon light.

The banquet set with the centerpiece of Sovereign Mastery and the of Rose Honey Water Communion hear the rivers of the ancestors flow beneath our feet.

But my back is turned to your back is turned to mine is turned to theirs is turned to ours.

It’s a lonely but sure way, having no One to turn to, not even our Holier Than Though.

There’s no way out when the only way is right.

Exaltation of polarity will prove that the banquet of Grace is prepared inside of me.

That God is only whole when I find the eyes of my kindred enemy.

This is Life.

No One gets out alive.

No One gets out right.

This is My Life.

No One gets left behind.

Do you believe in me? Because I believe in all of you.

here is my service, turning rage to words.

faye wylder, harvest 2020

feel what you feel when you feel it

children teach us how to feel in real time. frustrated, pained, lonely, hungry, angry, frightened, they express fully, for as long as they need, until they’re done. unless, one of us big folks teaches them to do something else (which we all do).

imagine if we could continue the child like genius of integrating life in ‘real’ time, which is – beyond time, and not even pick up the heavy suitcase of held emotion and difficult experience most of us carry for decades and lifetimes. imagine not passing along entrenched fear response to the descendants. can you see all the spaciousness humanity would have to explore? wow!

this is a complex topic, and I am no expert, but I have developed several simple techniques using Breath to attempt this. when I can, I focus on feeling what I feel as I feel it, beyond all blame, cultivating my true state of relaxed curiosity for life. rear ended, a nasty comment on the inter webs, yelling at these angels, my rage at the machine, surfacing memories of old harms, doing taxes, having a difficult conversation, etc – these are all perfect moments to invite and allow breath to work through me as me. those feeling and sensations are valuable teachers. they will not kill us, but they will eat us alive if untended.

43 minute breath alchemy to tend feelings in real time is HERE for you. pay what you can and include your email and ‘alchemize in real time’ in the note.

can we relate?

the word relate is sister to words rapport, relationship, relative, stemming from 14c latin to bear, to bring. relating is relaying, a transmission of information, a message carried (if not delivered) – our blood, our bones, our faces, our wisdom, our voices, our emotional presence, our laugh – all the messiahs of our ancestors and theirs and theirs, expressions of God in stardust.

relation is not agreement (rooted in LIKING, CONSENTING, BEING PLEASED WITH). perspective begins with sensation and as we honor our cells, sensation shifts with presence, breath, and passage through space (time). my displeasure and disconsent (disagreement) with your perspective do not negate our relation which, along with the truth of our kinship as children and parents of a shared Source, builds a new synapse in the web of all and will undoubtedly flux in the alchemy of existence. _i relate by expressing my Cells and opening my awareness to you as you do or do not do the same. willingness and capacity (dependent on so many factors) to be present to relayed information while staying in the elegance of my discernment (boundary/immunity) of how that information inspires or insights my own field (always infused with the mystery that goes beyond word) develops my relationships which develop my Cells (me taking a picture of you taking a picture of me).

there is no such thing as misinformation nor another soul unrelatable to our own. there can be information that makes us so fucking uncomfortable that we dismiss, judge, ignore. messages that touch a nerve left open by body wisdom to be noticed and attended to, if only by righteousness but hopefully by grace. i may not relish relating to you, but we are relations no matter. the future is non binary (gender fluidity being one expression of this elemental) and invites us to exist in that meeting place of our rapports, and to breathe in and into the mystery of shared space, relating the unbearable, where the i and the you become we – the holy trinity.

It’s All Relative.


it’s sweet how you feel deeply worried for their future and like you gotta protect them but then you realize they came from the future and all times and no times just like you and there’s a reason you’re all together with whomever you’re all together with and they’re more brilliant and powerful than you and all your lifetimes and then you relax and enjoy life and recall the best parenting advice ever – act as if you’re guiding and witnessing a dear friend on a psychedelic journey (which we all are if we take a moment) and you may stop yelling ‘get in the car brush your teeth finish your sandwich don’t take your penis out at the table’ slightly less times each day because you’re busy watching a giant blue heron who usually lives by the water, swoop into your grassy valley, strut around, stalk, catch, and swallow whole a mouse which you see pass through the entire two feet of its throat while wearing matching sun glasses all before 9am

from the cave (for easter)

i like it how you kiss my ears

whispering the tomb is the womb is the tomb is the womb is the tomb is the womb

resurrection so sexy since the most never noticed We were even here before

quit eating that mystery and enjoy this dark empty folding

unfolding unfolding unfolding

you want to live but breath doesn’t belong to you

only through you

there is no cave an island

i can push all night long but the rock only moves when the light cums through

the lord is my witness

as you were as We are

watching me birth Her back into being again and again and again

realized in each peal of slippery laughter and wink of my eye

grief is great

grief has no space in most circles. she’s ignored, shuttered, clogged, feared.

more than strong sadness, grief is love from the great beyond to the great beyond and a remembered declaration of that which we value and hold dear. she is great and she will be heard, like it or not.

grief lives in the lungs and when we allow it move, our circulatory lymphatic immune systems open, the circuity of communion with life as vital breath is connected.

grief may be hiding. behind rage behind a polite smile beyond disorienting anxiety.

move some cellular furniture and let your grief out that she can be love and you can be endless energy to create and serve. your grief is great.

BREATH moves the furniture.

breath automatically works in a grounded liminal space to alchemize current states into revitalizing resource.

explore the greatness of (y)our grief with our pay what you can (suggested $13-$33 but anything goes) 33 minute breath alchemy sessions. choose yours HERE and listen anytime you need.

It Really Works

Photo Jul 15, 2 53 21 PM


Today it really sank in.

When I do what I love, how I love to do it, it feels really good. It goes really good.

Last night we had a fabulous Tiny Sacred Circle…something I was called to put together and did, using my own imagination, desires, space and strengths. I arranged the evening with two guidelines: what was easy and what felt good. Cozy space, flowers from the neighborhood, a couple of candles, crystal friends all around, tea kettle on, baby sleeping, and a quick prayer that we all shine. And shine we did!Five of us women sang, breathed, shared, and expanded and… I felt right on for most of the evening (aside from the song I suggested we jam along to which had a complex beat none of us could follow…awkward! It made for a good laugh in the end).

As I facilitated, I could literally feel my cells vibrating, my whole being activated. I was lit up. I felt powerful, graceful and at ease. I was doing what I am meant to do.(What I do, by the way, doesn’t need a title – by my own decree. But, if you must, I’m a healer coach teacher writer artist working with women on the edge of knowing. Officially, I’m a Light Caster.)

In his F A B U L O U S book, The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks encourages working from what he calls our Zone of Genius. The word genius comes from the Latin for ‘attendant spirit present from one’s birth, innate ability or inclination.’ Our genius is who we are born to be, our unique core essence. And each of us has a unique genius that no one, not before, and not after will have. It is our gift – the gift that goes both ways, fulfilling our deepest desires AND serving the world in the special way only we can. This is the Queen’s gift.

If you feel like you’ve heard this message, but don’t really believe living from your heart, your genius is practical, but really want to believe that your genius is really the way to go, join the club. It’s a rare bird who doesn’t, at some point, wait to make their big move before seeing how it’s done first, politely requesting permission from the powers that be, forgetting that the Power is inside of them, apologizing for their incredible brightness along the way, settling for close enough at every turn. I’ve certainly sported those feathers. And so I know, ignoring instincts, shelving natural gifts, poo pooing dreams is Painful. And if we’re awake, it’s unsustainable.

Last night confirmed things I’ve known in my heart since I was a tiny girl. For whatever reason (Motherhood? Years of spiritual searching? Kundalini rising? A slew of incredible women teachers in my life this year? Tired of for permission? Lack of sleep?) I’m ready to share my Genius with the world. I’m doing what I do best, sharing my heart with you.

I’m working on a very special online offering, set to launch this fall, for all the Queens, ready to be Lit Up, ready to feel Golden and Guided in all parts of their life, ready to embody sovereignty.

We’ll dance with themes of divinity, femininity, alchemy, affluence, emotion, desire and joy, and practice practice practice transmuting shadow to light. I’m cooking up videos and tools (pragmatic, creative, Super Woo) that will transform. We’ll enjoy a private forum where members can freely share as much or as little of their journey as they want, discuss, ask, give and receive and I’ll host Q+A sessions throughout.

This course will activate the Queen essence that is every woman’s birthright.

And as you can see from the picture of today’s office, I’m committed to creating this course the same way I hosted last night…with ease and from my heart. When traditional drafting formats left me hitting walls, I asked, ‘What feels good? What’s easy?’ and my brainstorming took flight with word art (something I’ve loved my whole life and always naturally done) and coloring. When I heard Mother Nature’s call during office hours, I listened and we jammed. Needless to say, the content is flowing and I promise, it is going to be amazing.

See the Golden Glimmer on my computer (whose name happens to be Goldie!)?

We’re coming at you, all Lit up, carrying messages of Joy and Love. 

Registration for the course will open in September. We’ll be entirely virtual so women all over the world can participate. Members can move with the group or at their own pace and will have access to the queenly content forever. You’ll be the first to hear about it here.

If you know any Queens who are ready to cast their Light and need a safe, open ladyship to evolve and practice with, please share this with them. If you’re not already on the list, head over to and sign up to hear details as they roll out. 

To all the beautiful men, while this course will be women only, I’m so grateful for your support. The rolling, wild feminine river needs the sturdy river banks to guide her.

Meanwhile, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

I send blessings for all that your heart desires. 

Heal Your Gut to Hear Your Gut

Thank you to my friends and neighbors at KrickFit for having me as their guest blogger; it was such a treat to dive into one of my favorite topics. Enjoy!


When we’re tuned in, we’re listening to them. When we’re brave, we’ve got them. When we’re honest, we’re spilling them.

Hippocrates, the father of Western medicine, noted that ‘all disease begins in the gut’ over 2,000 years ago.

Whether it’s clear intuition, big life moves, impactful art, courageous service or simply feeling better, that you’re after, gut health is a wise place to start.

A healthy gut positively impacts all of our body’s systems. Integrated with our nervous system, the gut plays a role in our reflexes and sends more information to our brain than it receives, guiding our mental states and energetic connections. A healthy gut supports robust immunity, shaping our reactions to viruses, parasites and fungus, toxins, physical and emotional stress. Good gut health ensures a peaceful, balanced response to life, even during hard moments.

Vibrant gut health lays the foundation for all over wellbeing.

What is The Gut?

The gut is the gastrointestinal (GI) tract running from the mouth to the anus, including the esophagus, stomach, colon, small and large intestines and is famous for its work in digestion and elimination.

Gut Bacteria

Colonization of gut bacteria begins at birth, during the journey from the sterile womb through the vaginal canal, and is further supported by skin-to-skin contact, breast-feeding and first year of life nutrition. We inherit the blueprint for our gut health from our parents.

There are close to four pounds of hundreds of species of bacteria in the human gut, comprised of over 100 trillion microorganisms, carrying over 3 million genes (150 times more genes than a human being).

A balance of opportunistic and beneficial bacteria aids in digestive function and nutritional absorption, protects the intestinal wall, supports immunity, manufactures and regulates vitamins and hormones.

Gut Wall

Tight junctions between the cells of the gut create a boundary between our body and the outside world. The integrity of this wall is greatly supported by balanced gut bacteria.

Stressed digestive function and poor diet support opportunistic bacteria and cause permeability in the gut wall, or leaky gut syndrome, allowing particles of undigested food, toxins and bacteria to enter into the bloodstream. Our wise body, sensing foreign substance in the blood, launches an immune response. A prolonged immune response leads to an autoimmune response, compromising our natural defense and leaving us vulnerable to sickness and disease. Systemic inflammation sets in, leading to more leaky gut, encircling us in a vicious cycle.

Is My Gut Leaking? Why?

Are you stressed?

If you are, it’s likely your gut could use some attention. Leaky gut syndrome is the result of stress from imbalanced diet and lifestyle and if you’re living a modern life, you’re likely over loaded with stress. Stress isn’t all bad. We need some stress to help us learn and grow, form community, sharpen our instincts and keep us strong. But these days, most folks are struggling day to day to achieve a low energetic baseline, totally overwhelmed by their stress load.

Digestion is a function of our parasympathetic nervous system, the ‘rest and digest’ branch. The body is designed to absorb nourishment and eliminate waste in a relaxed state. When we’re under pressure, in a sympathetic ‘fight or flight’ response, energy and blood flow are directed away from our core toward our limbs and digestion slows (if we’re running from a dangerous beast or hunting for food, we need energy to run without bathroom breaks).

Most people living a modern life are in a constant state of fight or flight:

Slam a cup of coffee while worrying about bills, sit in traffic for too long before doing unsatisfying work while sitting all day long, no breaks, no lunch, no fresh air, no natural light, more coffee and a donut at 3:00 pm just to make it to 5:00 pm, chug some water to relieve desperate thirst, race home for not enough time with loved ones, eat take out while watching the (bad) news and simultaneously checking emails, down a pint of ice cream at 10:00 pm, struggle with insomnia and anxiety until midnight before crashing, up at 6:00 am to do it all again.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Stressed living and eating equals poorly digested food. These large particles damage intestinal structure, causing the leak in the gut wall. Throw in chemicals, additives, dyes and flavors rampant in processed, packaged foods, tons of sugar and gluten found in the standard American diet (SAD), and your body is likely spending more energy processing toxins and fighting opportunistic bacteria than it receives from the limited nourishment food-like substances offer.

Talk about stressful! We’re basically going into energetic debt to eat garbage!

Here’s a checklist of symptoms of leaky gut syndrome. Our body is a collaborative system of systems; gut health plays a huge role in many of them. Signs of leaky gut syndrome don’t always appear as digestive trouble.

If you answer yes to a few or more of these questions, lifestyle changes focused on your gut will do you well.

1 Checklist

How Do I Heal My Gut?

There is no magic bullet pill instant cure for improving gut health. Good gut health is the result of nourished, balanced living. If your gut is damaged, balance will require time and commitment to lifestyle changes. The great news is, as you heal, you’ll get to know your body’s needs and better know what’s best for you.

Incorporate these practices in your life to return to traditional, whole, organic foods and a slower, happier life.

Enjoy Avoid







Heal Your Gut to Hear Your Gut

Food, medication, environment, relationships and lifestyle are all potential healers or stressors. Conscious, balanced living is key to good health. When we live in balance with our rest and digest and fight or flight systems, we can navigate life’s twists and turns more gracefully and enjoy feelings of peace and serenity most of the time.

Maybe you’re thinking, ‘That sounds good, but do I have to live like a sequestered monk for the rest of my life just to heal my gut?!’

No. Not for the rest of your life. But, I do recommend strictly sticking with this outline for at least eight weeks and then aiming for 80% of the time. Once you know how great you can feel, you’ll never want to go back. Start slow if you need to. Do the best you can and don’t give up. A healed gut will change your life. You are worth it.

I coach heart-driven, ambitious folks who understand the importance of connecting with their truth before launching into impactful action.

Our truth is housed in our intuition – in our gut feelings. So, gut health is the first place I begin with clients. Every one of them who commits to cultivating a strong and balanced gut environment flourishes physically, mentally and spiritually, finding previously unknown wells of energy and joy. They get the guts they need to live their dreams.

My wish is for you to heal so you might hear your calling. Because we need you.

Have you healed from leaky gut syndrome? How are you feeling now? Leave and comment and let us know what has worked for you!